What is tattooed behind a Blonde's left ear? Inflate to 50 PSI.

Why did the Blonde have square huge tits? Because she forgot to take
the tissue out of the box!

A boss had to promote one of the three office ladies to be his
secretary. He pondered for a long time which girl to pick. He hit
upon a scheme! He
secretly put $5,000 into each of the 3 candidates back accounts.
Then he just sat back to see what they did with it! The first gal
took a vacation and
spent the money. The second gal put down payments on a new car, and
fur coat. The third gal took the money, invested it, doubled the
money, then
came back and asked if there might have been a mistake made, and
volunteered to return the initial $5,000. Which of the ladies got
the job? The
Blonde with the best tits.

What do Blondes and condoms have in common? They're either on your
dick or in your wallet!

How is a Budwiser beer bottle and a Blonde alike? They are both
empty from the neck up.

Why does a Blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge? They are
for those who don't drink!

How do you confuse a Blonde? Stick her in a round room and tell her
to pee in the corner.

What do you call a dead Blonde in a closet? 1984 hide and seek
champ.

Why do Blondes wear big hoop earrings? So they have a place to rest
there ankles during sex.

What goes Blonde, brown, Blonde, brown, Blonde, brown...? A naked
Blonde doing a cartwheel.

What's the difference between a male Blonde and a female Blonde? The
female has a higher sperm count.

How did the Blonde die ice fishing? She got ran over by the Zamboni.

Why did the Blonde stare at a can of frozen orange juice? 
Because it said concentrate.

Why was the Blonde proud for finishing a puzzle in only six months?
The box said "2 to 4 years!"

What did the Blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "I
wonder if it's mine?"

Why do Blondes like to drive in cars with tilt steering wheels? More
head room!

What's the difference between a Blonde and a washing machine? 
If you dump your load into a washing machine, it doesn't follow you around
for 3 days!

A Blonde is only a red head with the fire fucked out of her.

What is mating call of a Blonde? 
"I'm so drunk." 
What is the mating call of a brunette? 
"Is that Blonde bitch gone yet?"

What do you call a Blonde with a runny nose? Full to the brim!

Why did the Blonde buy a new convertible? She needed more leg room!

What do Blondes and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? Once you
eat the breasts and thighs, you're left with a Greasy Box!

Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think
their picture is being taken.

Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.

How do you seat four Blondes on one chair? Turn the chair upside
down.

What did the Blonde's right knee say to her left knee? Nothing, they
never met.

Three Blondes on the beach find a Genie. He grants them each one
wish. The first Blonde says "I want to be smarter," poof she turns
into a
brunette. The second says, "I want to be smarter too," poof she
turns into a brunette. The third says, "I want to be smarter than
these two," poof
she turned into a man.

How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on
it.

Why did God give every Blonde two more brain cells than a cow. So
they don't moo-moo when you pull on their titties.

What do Blondes and computers have in common? You don't appreciate
either 'till they go down on you!

Why can't Blondes dial 911? They can not find the eleven on the
phone!

A group of Blondes competed with a group of redheads and brunettes
in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim
competition. All the
redheads and brunettes finished first, long before the Blondes. One
of the Blondes finally reached shore completely exhausted. After
being revived
with blankets, oxygen and coffee, she was asked where the other
Blondes were and she gasped, "Still out at sea." When she was asked
why it was
taking the Blondes so long to finish, she replied, "I don't want to
complain, but I think those other women used their arms."

What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she's
got a grenade in her mouth!

How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer? The joy
stick is wet.

How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer? There is
white-out all over the monitor.

How do you get a Blonde on the roof? Tell her the drinks are on the
house.

A Blonde was driving through Iowa when she noticed another Blonde
trying to row a boat through a corn field. The Blonde stopped her
car and jumped
out exclaiming, "If I wasn't so nice I would swim out there and help
you get going!"

A man gets on an elevator on the 99th floor. Inside is a beautiful
Blonde. She waits till the doors are closed and says, you have 99
floors to make
me feel like a woman. The man gets all excited. He takes off all his
clothes and throws them in the corner and says ..."Fold them bitch!"

How do you call a smart Blonde? A Golden Retriever.

How can you tell a Blonde is having a bad day? Her tampon is behind
her ear and she can't find her pencil

Why is it good to have a Blonde as a passenger in your car? You can
park in the handicap zone.

Three women are lying on a beach which one is the Blonde? The one
with the g-string on back to front.

Why can't a Blondes water ski? Because when they get wet between
their legs, they end up on their back.

Why did god give Blondes one more brain cell than he gave horses? So
they wouldn't shit during parades.

Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks? It takes too long to
retrain them.

Two Blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of
their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Linda: I can't seem to get this
door
unlocked! Sylvie: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its
starting to rain and the top is down!

How does a Blonde change a light bulb? She holds the bulb in the
socket and waits for the world to go around.

What do Blondes and cow pies have in common? The older they get the
easier they are to pick up.

A woman went into a bar with her pet gorilla. "I'll have a pink
lady." she asks. She drinks her drink right down and smacks the
gorilla on the top of
the head. Then, the gorilla puts his head up her skirt and starts to
eat her pussy. Ten minutes later, a Blonde who was watching says,
"That's just
amazing!" Would you like to try?" the woman asked the Blonde.
"Sure!" replied the Blonde, but try not to hit me so hard!"

What do Blondes and turtles have in common? Once they're on their
backs their screwed.

What do a bleached Blonde and a 747 have in common? They both have
little black boxes.

A blind man passes in front of a fish market and he says: "Ahhh
Blondes, hello girls!"

A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her
body with her finger she says,"doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg
hurts, my arm
hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The doctor asks,"Were
you ever a Blonde?" "Yes, I was." she replies. "Why do you ask?" The

doctor answers,"because your finger is broken!"

How to you drown a Blonde? Throw a mirror into the deep end of the
pool.

What's the other difference between a Blonde and a 747? A 747 only
goes down occasionally where a Blonde ... well ...

Why did the Blonde have bruises around her navel? Her boyfriend was
Blonde too.

What do you call four Blondes standing in a row ear to ear? 4 Sexy
Canadian Girls? No - a wind tunnel.

Why do men like Blonde's in leather pants? Because they smell like a
new car.

Why do Blondes wear skirts and panties? Skirts to keep their neck
warm and panties to keep their ankles warm.

What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes at a four way stop.

What does a Blonde say after you have sex with her? Next!!

How does a Blonde turn on the light in the morning? Opens the car
door.

Why did 18 Blondes go to the R-rated movie? Because they heard that
under 17 was not admitted.

Why did the Blonde get fired from her job at the M & M's factory?
She kept throwing out the W.

Do you know the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball? You
can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

What does a Blonde say after sex? "Do you all play for the same
team?"

How is a Blonde like a screen door? The more you bang them, the
looser they get.

A Blonde who is tired of being thought of as dumb dyes her hair red.
To prove her point she goes to a sheep ranch and asks the sheep
herder if she
can guess the number of sheep in his herd can she have one. He says
"Go ahead". She looks at the herd and says, "352 sheep". The sheep
herder is
amazed and said to pick any sheep she wanted. As the Blonde is ready
to leave the sheep herder says "If I can guess the real color of
your hair can I
have my dog back".

What do Blondes and a 747 have in common? They both have a cockpit.

Why do Blondes like a BMW better than a Chevrolet? They can spell
BMW.

A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said
"Oh, look at the dead bird." The Blonde looked skyward and said
"Where,
where?"

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for
speeding. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports
car, was how hot the
driver was! A drop dead Blonde. "I've pulled you over for speeding,
Ma'am.... May I see your driver's license please...?", the RCMP
officer asked.
"...License...???" replied the Blonde, instantly revealing that she
was dumb as a bag of nails. "It's usually in your wallet..." replied
the Mountie.
After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.
"Now may I see your registration..." asked the cop.
"Registration..... what's that....?"
asked the Blonde. "It's usually in your glove compartment..." said
the Mountie impatiently. After more fumbling, she found the
registration. "I'll be
back in a minute," said the Mountie and walked back to his car. The
officer radioed the dispatcher to run a check on the woman's license
and
registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher radioed back.
"Ummm.... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes," replied
the officer. "Is
she a drop dead gorgeous Blonde?" asked the dispatcher. "Uh... yes"
replied the cop. "Here's what you do...." said the dispatcher. "Give
her the
stuff back, and drop your pants..." "WHAT!!? I can't do that. That's
crazy!" exclaimed the Mountie. "Trust me..... just do it...." said
the dispatcher.
So the cop returned to the Blonde, gave back the license and
registration, and dropped his pants as the dispatcher said. The
Blonde looked down and
sighed, "Ohh no... not ANOTHER breathalyzer test......"

Here are some Rebuttal Jokes from us Blondes

..... What do you call a Blonde without an asshole? Single.

..... What is the next exhibit at Ripley's "Believe It Or Not?" A
man born with a penis and a brain.

..... Why are most Blonde jokes only two lines long? So men can
understand them.

..... What is a man's view of safe sex? A padded head board.

..... Why did God create man? Because neither a dildo nor a vibrator
can mow the lawn.

..... How can you tell if a man is dead? He stays stiff for more
then two minutes.

..... Why do men have holes in their penises? So they can get air to
their brains.

..... Why do women get more hemmorhoids than men? Because when God
created man, He created the perfect asshole!

..... Why are men like laxatives? They irritate the shit out of you.

..... Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with the only one they
really love.

..... Why do you guys like Blondes with big tits and tight pussies?
Because you guys have big mouths and little dicks!

..... Why can't men get mad cows disease? Because men are pigs!

..... What do Blondes do with their assholes in the morning? Pack
their lunch and send them to work.

..... Did you see the Tampax site on the net? They have a new
slogan. We're not number one but we are way up there!"



